PRIVACY POLICY

Welcome to our privacy policy, where we pretend to care about your privacy while collecting every piece of data we possibly can.

WHAT WE COLLECT

Your name (or whatever alias you use to lurk online). Your browsing habits, including how long you stare at a page before clicking away. Your location (not just the country—your exact coordinates). Your deepest insecurities (we don’t even ask for these, you just post them online for free).

HOW WE USE YOUR DATA

To personalize your experience (a fancy way of saying we’ll show you ads for things you don’t need). To sell… sorry, share your data with third parties who will totally not exploit it. To predict what you’ll do next, because privacy is overrated.

YOUR CHOICES

You can opt out of data collection by throwing your device into the ocean. You can request your data deletion, but let’s be real, we still have backups. By using this site, you accept that your data is now ours. Forever.